Hi guys, it is very unfortunate that until this very day, our internet connection at home is still under repair. I could only steal enough time in the office to respond to a few comments and visit a few blogs each day. It is a very sad thing that this catastrophe had to befall on us. Nonetheless as a responsible blogger that I am (or at least trying to emulate) I will try to update my blog somehow.

But then again, this is what I can offer you for the mean time. Just think you haven't heard this yet. And enjoy this as much as I enjoyed composing, recording, and singing this song.

Image by angelofmayhem via Flickr

I find it really curious to wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly get hit by a blogging inspiration. How weird is waking up at early dawn, around 4AM (yes, since by MY definition, night means the whole duration of your sleep, considering you aren’t a vampire, e.i. you sleep like everyone else starting in the late evening and waking up at early morning the next day), hearing the DJs on the radio talking about the previously famous (and now made even more famous because of his sudden death – on my birthday nonetheless) MICHAEL JACKSON where somehow they also managed to mention GRAVITY somewhere along the course of their discussion about something I couldn’t really remember (yes, I listen to the radio – Monster Radio, RX 93.1 – even when I sleep, so don’t you dare tell our landlady that I’m sorta, kinda, but not quite wasting precious electricity, which by the way is an energy resource that needs to be conserved due to scarcity issues and whatnot – I know, I’m not perfect).

So, as I looked at the wall clock staring blankly at me with hands pointing at an angle which would supposedly mean a few minutes past 4 in the morning, my mind rushed through thoughts much like a scheduled virus scan which suddenly pops up when you least expect it, searching through banks and banks of memory for something that you don’t normally find on occasion. Only this time my mind was going on auto-pilot searching the best ideas I kept about Gravity and all. Then… after a second or 30, Gravity sunk its imprints on to my very core. I could only imagine how drastically different our lives would be without it, how worlds would unimaginably crash into each other’s orbits (or would there still be any) without it or fly infinitely away from each other without it (whatever!), and how cosmically chaotic everything would be without Gravity.

Well, that’s just me thinking about a life without gravity (but then again, the omniscient and boundless God we believe in would probably think of something to tie it all again). Let’s just limit our fictitious thoughts to the time when we suddenly lose the force of gravity to the time before God would give us something to replace it with and make things better again.

OK, moving on. Remember how gravity attracts two objects with mass? There’s supposedly physics involved in it; I’m sure you can google it yourself. The point is this force exists to make things stable, to give some order into our own existence; why no matter how high you throw the ball, it’ll always fall back to the ground; why no matter who you are, how high your status is, we all still hit the ground hard when we fall. That’s all there is to it, really. No matter how much you build your life on something, it will always come (sometimes even crashing) down. Alright, for those optimistic ones, think of it as something like, no matter how busy or hyped up or high your life becomes (in terms of career, love, money, or whatever), it will always fade down into ease someday. Life becomes a roller-coaster because of Gravity. Basically, Gravity makes our life more interesting!

And like Death, Gravity is another one great equalizer. Like Death, no one escapes Gravity. Like Death, Gravity has its force on us, and we are powerless to defy it. We can dare resist it, but ultimately, we will all fall, and die.

So I immediately got up, paced my way through the quiescent silhouettes of my room and curiously searched the internet. Interestingly, I found out that Michael Jackson is still special, despite his being him. He may not have escaped Death, but he surely found an ingenious way of defying Gravity.

Wanna know how he did it? Check this out.

Scan through it. The images will tell you everything. Notice the Jackson et al under the United States Patent label on the upper left!

Rest in Peace, MJ. You've had a hell of a roller-coaster life. You've reached the highest height of your career, and you may have faced the most troublesome ones in your life. You definitely went up, and you're also definitely going down in history.

How hard could it be being in two places at one time?
How can two separate times exist as one?
How can two worlds be joined?
When we are lives apart?
Night and day is what we are.
We come and go but never do we meet.
I see a glimpse of you as so do you.
But that is all for we are not one, but two.

Is it impossible to share this moment with you?
Could I smile the smile you lips has dawned?
Could I cry the tears your eyes just shed?
If we are lives apart?
I am night and you are day.
We both live but never at once.
Though we are joined, I could never feel
The caressing touch of your radiant light.

At the passage of time,
I grow old of waiting.
But never do I tire of dreaming
The moment we could be together.
You and I are day and night.

Isn’t it funny how you look at the night sky, serene and peaceful and yet you don’t see anything but the moon and the night clouds lazily floating about? And then you blissfully search for those brightest shining stars and yet you just don’t see any. But then all of a sudden a small glint catches your eyes and then you realize that there is but one star that shines faintly. So you try to make sense of that shining star, then slowly it glows more and more, twinkling each second that passes by and you just can’t help but be amazed at how you were able to take heed of its faint glow only when the brightest stars you were searching for can no longer be found, that all the time you knew that a star is there somewhere , in the vast endlessness of the night sky, waiting for you to take notice of its humble yet magnificent shine, but you fail to realize it because you were stuck and glued to searching for one bright star among the many that are as bright, that one bright star that may no longer even exist.

A few nights ago, I got out of bed and went to the riverbank, laid on my back, and stared at the sky. I knew I was waiting for that star, kinda like hoping incessantly to catch a falling star. It’s somewhat stupid really, when you know the odds of catching a falling star is minimal, how much more when you are actually expectantly waiting for a specific star to fall. A hopeless scenario, more like sad really.

After two hours of searching, waiting, hoping, and getting frustrated, disappointed, sad, and hurt, I got up and went back to bed and slept through the rest of my hellish ordeal.

I guess it’s just how it is. You have to love and get hurt, and get hurt until it’s numb, and feel numb until you don’t feel love nor hurt at all. Then you start to fall in love again, and hope that this time it would be for good, if not for better.

That’s when you realize that there are a lot more stars in the heavens above us. We just have to make sure that we never tire ourselves from constantly searching and being open to see what the night sky would have to offer. Once you see at least one more star, smile and be glad that you have found yet another gem in the sky, something that would be cherished and loved for the rest of this next chapter of our lives.

Holding on is essential only when you are certain that what you are holding on to is an immovable stretch of the boundless sky. Otherwise our hold would be weak and would not be enough to keep us whole. Thus learn to let go, for in letting go we acknowledge our weakness, and faith in ourselves that it is not only through this part of the sky that we can anchor our lives to. Definitely, the night sky is limitless and no one can stop us from anchoring ourselves on to another more firm and stable part.

What would you do? It’s tiring as it can be. What with all the stress that’s lurking everywhere ready to pounce anytime. You can never really be too careful these days. Anyone, not to mention everyone, could be it. We can never really know. How much would it take for me to see what lies ahead so that I won’t have to worry about tomorrow? I know it’s futile to worry about what will be rather than expending more time and effort resolving what is. But that’s the problem, instead of enjoying what is, I spend more time worrying and looking for ways to alleviate pain of yesterday that’s causing more problems today.

The Beleaguered Champion seeks to find a place to rest. Under the tree of answers, he wishes to lie underneath its shade. But in the scorching heat vast desert that he has traveled, in the viciousness of the jungle he’s been through, in the depths of the dark abyss, nothing but a void and empty space lies before him. It’s even more disturbing for despite its barrenness, there is always and there will always be something that will push him to the edge.

The Beleaguered Champion started by spending a tremendous amount of time training for what may lie ahead in his life’s adventure. Giving everything he has to offer, this hero wanted to be at his best when he faces the demons and monsters on his way. Nothing could possibly stop him and nothing will.

The Beleaguered Champion went into the immense ocean of oceans. There he met other champions just as he; eager and determined to topple every barrier that may come there way. However, in spite of the immensity of this area, there were only a few possible paths to take. And only a few would be able to go through it. Before this Champion knew it, he was fighting for his slim chance and his inalienable right to passage, against the others that came before and even after him. This isn’t a very pleasant sight. The steady flow of knights treading water was now drenched in thick blood drowning in their own despair.

Despite the horror, the Beleaguered Champion went on his way; weary from that great feat. He knew too well, that it wasn’t going to be the last. He knew that in every other field, battles have to be fought, won, and forgotten. Loss; he knew no such thing. In every step he makes, victory was his vision, faith was his shield, and hope was his sword. Coated in an armor of well-forged skill, no one can bring him down.

The Beleaguered Champion went on this excruciating journey, seeking the most appropriate spot to take the most amount of rest from time to time. But somewhere along his way, dust of confusion was lurking and growing, causing this hero to lose sight of his vision. Trying to regain control over everything before him, he insistently shook them off his feet, along with them everything he used to cherish. This foul mistake cost him a lot, and now his debts are due. Our Champion is now at a loss.

But this would not stop the Beleaguered Champion from moving on. Dragging his every step, he tried to get as far as possible and settle at a new site, either regaining old visions or forming new ones. Our Beleaguered Champion had to start again.

To be continued…

In no particular order.

A Movie/TV Personality

I always wanted to appear on TV and on the silver screen. It might have been a forgotten childhood dream. I always liked watching people on TV and I guess at some level I too want to be watched on screen as well.

A Theatre Performer (Singer, Dancer, Actor)

I like being watched. Uhmm, not that kind, you perv! Not being too egocentric, I just want to get attention. It's kinda ironic really but I learned in my Psychology class that I have these kinds of need, being an Type 9 - Achiever in the Enneagram and all. I guess that's why I joined the Ateneo College Glee Club, because I wanted to sing. But way back then, I didn't have enough confidence to sing on my own - singing solo. Talk about insecurity issues! Ha ha, I've had my share of those. Then I realized that I want to make a name for myself. An identity that goes along with my name - DICK. So I tried to do stage performing. That's when Entablado came into the picture. They held open auditions for the play "Buwan at Baril." It's about activism and all that. I auditioned and luckily I got in and played the role of the manggagawa (the [factory] worker). I wasn't a member of Enta when I first auditioned. The week after I joined them. I was aiming for the theatre workshops that come along with being a member, and of course the people who were in it. RIGHT! That same week, I realized I also wanted to do musical plays, after all, I always wanted to sing. Hence, I joined Blue Repertory, Ateneo's Musical Theatre Student Organization. What I great way of forging what I learned from Glee Club and what I get to pick up from Enta. BlueRep was another venue for me to hone my skills in the theatre scene. The people there are nice too, and pretty too! BUT HOW IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO MANAGE ALL THESE?

A Good [Tango] Dancer

When I was young, I also wanted to dance but unfortunately I didn't seem to be that good at it. Although I can dance ballroom (Boogie and Tango), and a little bit of those other stuff. I wanted to enroll to a ballroom class for my PE but I there wasn't any slots left. I know I can dance, I just need more lessons to be that great.

A Hot Model

Hey, this is my dream! I can be whatever I want ok. So don’t give me that damn smirk! *end *

A Radio Disc Jockey

I was just fascinated by the idea of being someone who is heard but not seen. It kinda gives an aura of mystery in my character and personality. It can definitely get to the most hottest clubs and gimmicks and you know, all the privileges that goes along with the work. Wouldn’t it be nice if I were a DJ? I think it would.

An Artistic Photographer/Photo Editor

When I look at pictures I just imagine myself taking them and editing them to make them look awesome. I tried to do Photoshop tutorials but I feel that I still need to do things - hands-on. I think I can learn things better that way. But thinking about the costs of the materials, SLR camera, softwares, training, I'm having second thoughts now.

An Intelligent Programmer/Hacker

Ha ha! My ultimate genius dream. Not that I want to terrorize the world by sending viruses and all other pets. It's just fun to know how things (softwares, mostly games) work. Not that I want to cheat or anything, it's just nice to know how to make things run according to your rules. It's just like customizing things your way. Yeah, that's pretty much it, customizing..

A Network Administrator

Ha ha! Just another of those silly things I want to become. I don't know, maybe I want to start my own internet business or something like that. It's also great to know how to setup your own network at home and in the office! And being an administrator kinda makes me feel like a supreme being, or whatever.

A Website Designer

Well, also another of my dreams. Putting up my own website or designing other people's website would be great too. I could even get paid doing that. Wouldn't that be great. But where do I even begin?

A Flash Animator

Uhmm, I just want to know how to use Flash and know how to make Flash presentations, well, for presentations. Making animations would be fun too. Yeah, fun.

A Writer

Writing things is my way of letting things out and releasing stress. It's a good practice and it's a healthy coping mechanism. Writing great things is cool, way cooool.

A Great Lover

Who wouldn't?