Almost Finished Project (for deactivation): 2008

Up Against No One

I never really had the perfect chance to blog about something worth blogging. Perhaps because I’ve been overly preoccupied with stuff that may and/or may not have any significance at all. I guess nothing else matters now. What’s done is done and there’s really no need to wallow over things that can’t be undone. And enough with this excessively emo intro. What I’m here for is something that’s been on my mind the moment I opened my eyes early this morning. I just had so much to do and to think about (obviously about something else) that I it is only until now that I am somewhat compelled to keep this to writing. Just a side note: I find blogging fun. Uhmm, I actually don’t know where that came from but as crazy as I am, I just write and write and write and think then write and write some more.

Anyway, I’ll try to make this as casual as possible for I’ve been so sick (I mean, literally sick with the unavoidable flu. I say unavoidable because somehow, no matter how hard I try, it just keeps finding its way back to me. But then again, technically the flu virus cannot attack the same person twice so the flu virus I have right now is probably something different from the one I had a month ago. See how sickly I am these days? Anyway, were going way off topic now..). And being sick actually has nothing to do with the tone of this blog entry, hasn’t it? Anyway, it’s my blog and if you’ve gone this far, then prepare yourself for more incoherent ideas just popping and pooping here and there, every once in a while, whenever I see it fit (or not! Haha!).

Now really, on to what I really intended to write about. With mellow music in the background let me just set my mood. I listen to the radio too every now and then. Ding! Ding! Off topic! But if you’ve reached this far without being annoyed and lost, congratulations because I will definitely start my entry now.

In life, I consider almost everything I do as a game. But as they always say: It’s not whether you win or lose; it’s how you play the game [that counts. Haha! I got you! I won’t be talking about that! I just wanted to make sure that I don’t have that mindset that I always have to be triumphant in every game I join in although I strive, as much as I can, to win. Oh c’mon, who doesn’t? Of course, I’d want to play something that there’s at least a minimum chance of winning! I mean, if you’re sure to lose, why bother? But then again, this could be a topic for another blog which right now I have no intention of making. But we’re clear on that, ok? It’s how the game is played that makes that game as memorable as memories can be.

But here’s the deal, what if you’re competing against someone who’s not even playing? Guess what, it happens! Just as shit does!

As annoying as it may seem, I just have to play it until the end. How unfair can that be? I mean, you give it your best shot and then she ranks you up against someone who’s not even interested in taking part in it (And maybe because he already has a girlfriend. Uhmm hello!? Lady, your game’s over!). How naïve can she be? But wait, I’m already whining! *whining mode off*

But hey, this is just my nice way of saying, "Let's get it on! This is the one game I'm sure to win, and I mean definitely sure to win! "

(to be edited… if i feel like it...)

See You Smile

Verse:
It may have started with fun and games.
Everyday, always the same.
I never really thought that it’d come to this.
A moment in my life with utmost bliss.

Coz every time I see you smile.
You make my whole world all worth while.
And everyday I think of you.
My love for you, baby, is oh so true.

Verse:
I feel so lonely when we’re apart.
I might have fallen from the very start.
Now I realize all I wanna do
I’ll make you smile, whenever you’re blue.

Coz every time I see you smile.
You make my whole world all worth while.
And everyday I think of you.
My love for you, baby, is oh so true.

Bridge:
I could have wandered in search for another.
But I stayed and lingered to be with you forever.

I’m right here waiting, waiting for you.
Hoping that some day, you’ll smile for me too.

Coz every time I see you smile.
You make my whole world all worth while.
And everyday I think of you.
I pray that you, baby, make me smile too.

A Hazy Dream

Perhaps it’d had been clear

From the very beginning

As some may have seen

How things would have turned out

I would have wanted the same

But things aren’t just that easy

As everyone complains

The complexity is supreme

But what makes me happy

Is seeing truth in my dreams

Making them happen

As things fall in their rightful place

In some park I see us both

Green grass growing all around

Breeze sweetly kisses your face

Your hair is gently blown

As my hand caress your smooth skin

Time stood still

And the whole world witness

How my gentle touch sings songs of love

Oh sun, how lazily you shade things

In a bright orange-red hue

We watch as you give your final bow

Softly you whisper goodbye

The once sky-blue drape

Now covered with star-lit drop

One single spot shines through

A hazy dream it all was

Bato at Buwan

Tanglaw ko ang buwan sa makulimlim na kalangitan;

Sa liwanag niya ang mga bituwin ay natatabunan.

Halina’t ating pagmasdan ang taglay niyang kagandahan,

At hayaang sa simoy ng hangin tayo’y matangay.

Subalit ang buwan ay malupit at hindi mapagbigay.

Sa hindi niya kasundo siya ay lalayo.

Sa likod ng mga ulap siya’y magtatago.

Hanggang ang iyong pagtingi’y mawalay.

Siya’y may ibang nais makapiling.

Ang haring araw na kahit kailan ay di niya matatanglaw.

Ako’y batong hamak, sa lupa lamang nakabaon.

Humahangad na kahit minsan sa kalangitan makatungtong.

-Nagluluksang bata sa tula pumapatak ang luha. Aking hiling ito'y gawing lihim.

Movies' Life's Lessons

Just a few minutes ago, I watched a movie in TV. It was something about a Filipino family of today's times. I didn't really know what the title was but it's not that important for now. What struck me was how as I was watching it, thought what worth this movie had that I had to spend my precious time watching it. It would seem funny to note that on several occasions, I was somehow able to relate to it. Not that it was happening to my life today, but something in movies make me feel that everything that happens in my life has already happened to someone else before.

This brings to me to my point. I watch movies, other than for entertainment purpose, but also because it lessens the burden on me to reflect too much on what's going on with my life. It seems as though my laziness got the better of me, but on the contrary, if you do a secondary reflection, it even evoked me to reflect on the matter further, only this time, on the perspective of someone else's experience.

Ever wondered how we always want to know how the story ends? It seems to me that rather than making an ending for ourselves, it often better if someone else does it for us. And then our role comes in, as critics. We then reflect on how the ending fits or not to the whole story. Most often than not, we see the ending as how it fits to the story of the movie we are watching, which on some level, allows us to see how most people, including ourselves or not, would end something like this. But like on the level of primary reflection, we often put ourselves distant to the story we are reflecting upon. This allows us to be objective on the subject because we aren't the ones directly affected, which makes it easier for us to criticize whether it was appropriate or not. And besides, it wasn't us who made the ending anyway, someone else made it for us. We might have our own version that we would have wanted to happen, but it's their story and they have every right to end it as how they please.

Then upon further reflection, we then try to put the situation to a closer context. How then would the story end if it were us in it? Would the ending be fit for the story of our life? Now we come to the secondary reflection that allows us to look at the story at a closer and perhaps more meaningful context, at least for me. This then allows me to ponder upon whether I would have done the same if I were the one faced with that kind of situation. A lot, perhaps, would change since we are factoring in our own nuances in life.

This would be good if we do it. Most of the time, people (perhaps even me) halts upon finishing the primary reflection and leave the ending as it is. Omitting the secondary reflection from the equation would leave us with a cake half-baked. This robs us of our freedom to choose for ourselves.

Bear with me on this. Think for example if the same thing happens to us some time in the near future, we'd be seeing the whole experience in the context of the movie's story. Only this time, it's not the movie's characters who are involved but we. But if no secondary reflection has been made prior to this experience, it would be too late for us to think critically and decide without bias. Most of our decisions and actions would be patterned, along or against the movie we've watched, depending upon whether we found the ending suitable or not.

Now think, had we done the secondary reflection before hand and factored in our own nuances. Then perhaps when we face the situation this time, we'd have a whole array of arsenal to go up against the situation. The circumstances may vary but this time, several of our own characteristics have already been factored in so that the characters in the story are more like us than not.

Going back to my point, watching movies allow us to reflect upon our lives and allow us to experience something that we haven't experienced before in several occasions. This of course would only happen if we reflect deeper and place ourselves in the story itself rather than just watch it at the sidelines.

(unedited first draft)

Parcel of Triumph

Oh yeah! What a great way to start the year! Just yesterday, our Philosophy teacher returned our papers on death and freedom in relation to the film "Paradise Now." And if you're smart enough, then yes you might have guessed it. I got an A for it. I was really hoping to get and A in my classes and really did well in making it. It was my first A term paper in my Philosophy class and I'm very proud of it! I will make and earn more A's.

The entry with the title, 'Kamatayan at Kalayaan" is found several articles below, posted last December 22, 2007, Saturday. Enjoy!

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