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This is Dick's Constant Creation.
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ENCORE: Last Song

(Music will soon follow! I just need someone to arrange it for me.)

Night comes to settle; too soon some would seem
Breeze blows a little, to soothe my fears
It was a night, as peaceful as this
That you came along and taught me to dream

…

Each night I long to hear your voice as you softly call my name
And the stars start to sing songs of praises and hymns
For tonight we share a world that had never been one
I wish we’d never part, You and I

…

But the night is done, and we'd have to move on
And our time has passed; it’s now time for the sun
Oh it’s sad! In life nothing lasts
But sharing this moment is better than none

…

And I must go to my final place
But to someone you love
It's never goodbye
I’ll always be here, my son

A CAPELLA VERSION NOW AVAILABLE! Folow here!


Quote of the Day:
"Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without."

Experience. Un-ended.


Experience has always been our faithful mentor. All will agree that in more ways than one, experience has taught us things we never would have known. However, one can also raise the objection that not everyone shares the same universal experience of experience. Experiencing to each and everyone is unique, regardless of how similar they may seem. The sum total of somebody’s experience will always be in contrast to that of another. In various levels, they will never be as one.

One endeavor may be savored my many, but each has his own method of capturing flavorful moments and keeping track of them in his own bank of boundless memories, forever stowed in a pit of infinity. But despite the numerous ways of experiencing every affair of our daily lives, one thing might be common, emotion.

Somehow, in a peculiar twist of cosmic events, one experience may be shared by many, but among the many that immerse themselves in that precise encounter, at least two would share the same sentiment. This is how uncanny life is. A proficient trickster that unceasingly toys with each and every soul on this vast land and other.

Take heed nonetheless that like the experiencing of the experience, feeling the emotion of a particular incident may also vary among individuals. What makes it different from experience is the fact that it breaks the rule of exceptionality, by the very fact that any two, or more, may share the same sentiment, pain or otherwise, for a particular experience, tragic or otherwise.

What’s really funny in all our own lives is that we all have our own tragedies. Even the very man who claims to be the happiest on earth could, and even sometimes would, share how his life has gone awry at one point or another. It is an inescapable fact that tragedies are engraved in our very nature, in our own DNA for that matter. And pain is our survival mechanism. It makes an individual aware of the potential bodily, physical and metaphysical, damage and provides motivation to get away from painful stimuli and avoid them in the future.

This, ultimately, is what our every record of experience is for. Our life is, in the end, geared towards that which makes us infinitely happy, should there exists such a thing. Nirvana. Gaudium. Eternal bliss. Whatever, add into the list those that which you think is applicable.

So I ask you now.

What ARE your tragedies in life to date?
What have you learned from THOSE experiences?
Where will THEY take you now?

My friend, just remember that a single drop of tear can only hold so much. The world is ours to conquer. Let us not let these tragedies blind us from this irrefutable truth.

Always in love and pain,

Dick

Quote of the Day:
"The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him, his own." -- Benjamin Disraeli


Credits to wonenownlee for the magnificent shot.

If it can be broken, break it.

Living in a society with rules and conformity has proven to be cumbersome at times and stifling at worst. But deny it or not, these rules are the very same governing powers that allow us to live in a society that keeps us secured and sheltered. When then are we bestowed upon our rightful privilege to exercise our purest deviant nature? I still do concur that ultimate radicalism has proven ill at times as well, and deadly at worst.

Although these may actually apply to almost any set of rules and tenets, try to keep your focus on to something more definitive and concise. Choose what best applies to you at the moment.

I’ll try to keep it simple for now. For me, what I’d really want to zone in on are the loose rules on love and relationships. In the first place, no one has ever set these in stone, or more practically in writing. So I guess the very main fact that this is how our ways of love and relationships are lived by brings up its very fundamental dys-functionality.

More often than not however, people have enough guts and, to a greater degree, tenacity to bend the rules not just a little but even at times enough to break them. We do this for several reasons and for what it’s worth, they do make sense.

Allow me share some.


Experience. Here’s to trying out something out of the ordinary. Thinking out of the box as it were, and by box, you know what I mean. It is this thirst for new understanding and I guess familiarity to something that is not our norm which compels us to bend the rules and ultimately break them. This allows us to create something new, but in the end, these new creations give birth to a new set of rules which in time would be bent and broken. And thus the cycle continues with added experience on each round.

Challenge. Here’s to a more distinct color of seeking new experiences. We’ve known that these rules have existed for a reason, and more often than not, it is because they’ve been proven to work. Although some may be questionable, most aren’t. But the thrill we encounter in going against the rules provides immeasurable ecstasy. It is our challenge to discover new heights and newfound glory by taking a different route. And it is actually more of the getting there rather than the destination that really makes it all worth it.

Proof. Here’s to an even more particular flavor of seeking challenges. Given the knowledge that following a definite set of rules has proven wise, sometimes their lack of flexibility hinders our creativity and thus our ability to innovate and revolutionize. It is by breaking the rules that we prove to all that there is a different way of doing things, and it may not or, when successful, may be the best way of doing it. It is people like us – people who take risks – that make the world evolve and grow. Stagnation is not an option for us. And along with the courage and bravery that we posses is the responsibility to accept the consequences, that our decisions were made in good faith and for the right reasons.

Of course, other motives may prove appropriate or otherwise, but I leave it up to you to sharpen your senses and know when it is fitting to break to the rules and when not to.


Alright, I may have lost some of you there somewhere. But go over the list again, and try to put it in the context of love and relationships. That was what this entry was for, after all.

Quote of the Day:
“Life without a friend is death without a witness.” -- Eugene Benge


Credits to beforethecoffee for the High Speed Photography image.

All that goes up must come down

I find it really curious to wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly get hit by a blogging inspiration. How weird is waking up at early dawn, around 4AM (yes, since by MY definition, night means the whole duration of your sleep, considering you aren’t a vampire, e.i. you sleep like everyone else starting in the late evening and waking up at early morning the next day), hearing the DJs on the radio talking about the previously famous (and now made even more famous because of his sudden death – on my birthday nonetheless) MICHAEL JACKSON where somehow they also managed to mention GRAVITY somewhere along the course of their discussion about something I couldn’t really remember (yes, I listen to the radio – Monster Radio, RX 93.1 – even when I sleep, so don’t you dare tell our landlady that I’m sorta, kinda, but not quite wasting precious electricity, which by the way is an energy resource that needs to be conserved due to scarcity issues and whatnot – I know, I’m not perfect).

So, as I looked at the wall clock staring blankly at me with hands pointing at an angle which would supposedly mean a few minutes past 4 in the morning, my mind rushed through thoughts much like a scheduled virus scan which suddenly pops up when you least expect it, searching through banks and banks of memory for something that you don’t normally find on occasion. Only this time my mind was going on auto-pilot searching the best ideas I kept about Gravity and all. Then… after a second or 30, Gravity sunk its imprints on to my very core. I could only imagine how drastically different our lives would be without it, how worlds would unimaginably crash into each other’s orbits (or would there still be any) without it or fly infinitely away from each other without it (whatever!), and how cosmically chaotic everything would be without Gravity.

Well, that’s just me thinking about a life without gravity (but then again, the omniscient and boundless God we believe in would probably think of something to tie it all again). Let’s just limit our fictitious thoughts to the time when we suddenly lose the force of gravity to the time before God would give us something to replace it with and make things better again.

OK, moving on. Remember how gravity attracts two objects with mass? There’s supposedly physics involved in it; I’m sure you can google it yourself. The point is this force exists to make things stable, to give some order into our own existence; why no matter how high you throw the ball, it’ll always fall back to the ground; why no matter who you are, how high your status is, we all still hit the ground hard when we fall. That’s all there is to it, really. No matter how much you build your life on something, it will always come (sometimes even crashing) down. Alright, for those optimistic ones, think of it as something like, no matter how busy or hyped up or high your life becomes (in terms of career, love, money, or whatever), it will always fade down into ease someday. Life becomes a roller-coaster because of Gravity. Basically, Gravity makes our life more interesting!

And like Death, Gravity is another one great equalizer. Like Death, no one escapes Gravity. Like Death, Gravity has its force on us, and we are powerless to defy it. We can dare resist it, but ultimately, we will all fall, and die.

So I immediately got up, paced my way through the quiescent silhouettes of my room and curiously searched the internet. Interestingly, I found out that Michael Jackson is still special, despite his being him. He may not have escaped Death, but he surely found an ingenious way of defying Gravity.

Wanna know how he did it? Check this out.

Scan through it. The images will tell you everything. Notice the Jackson et al under the United States Patent label on the upper left!

Rest in Peace, MJ. You've had a hell of a roller-coaster life. You've reached the highest height of your career, and you may have faced the most troublesome ones in your life. You definitely went up, and you're also definitely going down in history.

Thank You Everyone

Last night, the 9-day (actually night) novena for my mom had finished. It’s been 10 days since we cremated her body and placed her ashes inside a box. You could only imagine how a human body could easily be reduced to a handful of dust. It’s already been 14 days since her last breath, and tomorrow, on my birthday, my mother who was with me for 22 years would be 15 days dead. It’s ironic really, for me to be celebrating life on the one hand, when on the other, I’d be mourning my mother’s death. But it’s really that simple, life goes on. Come to think of it, death does so too. But then again, we’d have our philosophical differences here and we’d end up discussing something else when in fact I’d like to talk about another.

Anyway, I’ve been on blog/text/chat/email sabbatical for a week. I guess it is part of the ritual that people do when they experience a life-turning event. And for me to talk about it in such a casual tone now would lead you to think that I’ve been able to cope well with everything I’ve had to face. I’ve been strong, thanks to all of your support. I really appreciate your warm texts and messages of encouragement and concern. Although I wasn’t able to reply to all of you, know that I really am very grateful and I feel so lucky to have you as friends. I’m taking this time now to say thank you to you all.

This is actually a day delayed blog entry. The thing is, yesterday, we lost our internet connection due to whatever reason globe can think of (or maybe they did have some technical problem or perhaps it was just the regular system maintenance). In any case, I wasn’t able to share this with you the day before.

I believe you can say that this would be another start of my blogging escapades (yeah right!), since I think I’m now ready to get back on track and pick up from where I left everything off. I’d like to think that new things have opened up to me despite the others that have closed.

Last week, I started work with Azeus. If you don’t know what that is, google it. Google is your best friend (next to what’s-her-name). Anyway, it’s been a mix of fun and tough lessons. Yeah, we’ve been training for more than a week now. And tomorrow, we’ll have our final exams for this specific lesson that I am not telling, ‘coz you might say that we’re such pussies having a hard time on something that you find easy to do. Spare me the criticisms, I’d rather not hear what you have to say (so it won’t hurt me) – based on a personal experience that I haven’t been too keen on forgetting. (Talk about bitter!)

I am supposed to be preparing for that exam now, but knowing me, I’ll always have the time of my life for anything and everything (that I want, that is).

Yeah, I guess that’s what’s been keeping me busy all this time, keeping my mind off things, and giving me something else to look forward to. But you know what, no matter how strong your façade seems, there will always be that weak spot that when hit would make the whole fortress crumble. Yeah, I cried. And I guess I needed that.

…

But hey, I took some pictures while we were on break earlier, and look at how the view is like on the 29th floor.

View1View2

That’s it for now.

I'm Sorry.. I didn't tell you..

Thursday, last week, my mother passed away. I didn’t tell anyone. I was scared. I didn’t know who to tell. I didn’t know what to say. I kept it to myself. I secluded myself from your lives.

I didn’t mean to offend anyone; it was just hard for me at that time. My family was far from me and at that moment, I really felt alone. When I got the chance to tell some people about it, I got scared of how they were going to react to it. I didn’t want to spoil their day or anything. I mean, I know you have your own baggage to carry, and I didn’t want to dump mine unto you. I felt that I needed to carry it on my own.

I was so good at diverting my attention to other stuff that I managed to pull it off. I didn’t want to cry, I detest crying. It’s just too painful. And I thought that telling it would just sever the sanity that kept me going on my own.

A lot of people know me as someone with a happy disposition; and held on to that.

I went back home to be with my family over the weekend, and I just got back. My mom was cremated last Sunday, and we kept her ashes at a church back in Mabolo, Cebu.

I thought I could hold back my tears, but I was wrong. Seeing my mom for the last time was the most painful thing I had to experience in my life. And I had to live through it. I must.

My mother died of cancer, she was 56. She had to fight the disease for two years, undergoing therapy sessions and medications. My mom was a strong and brave mother. She was able to witness my graduation, despite her condition then. And although she wasn’t at my sister’s wedding, she was still with us to see my Ate marry the man she loves.

For those who asked, I lied. I was not OK. And I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m really sorry. :’(

We are still praying for my mother. I hope you will also pray for her. Thank you.

I never said goodbye to my mom. I don’t think I had to. All I had to say was, “I love you.”

You Can Do Better

Sometimes in a man’s life, something life-changing happens. And most often, it is difficult to openly proclaim it to the entire humanity what has happened. When it’s good, you sound too arrogant, at least I do. And when it’s not too good, you sound so pathetic.

In any case, the point that I am driving at here is that not everyone who doesn’t unambiguously blog, shout, and share their own sentiments to everyone they meet in life, either in everyday dealings or over the internet, is any less than a person who does.

It just pains me to know that there are people who could be as shallow as a puddle of mud after a drizzle. Either they’re that shallow or simply annoyingly muddy. And even though I could care less about what they think about people like me, it’s just plain and simple; it’s horrendously annoying.

I know I hate these rant posts but I just want to let THEM know that I AM NOT AN EMOTIONLESS FREAK. It may appear that I’m fine, and the thing is I guess I really am. Here’s a clue to how I do it: sublimation and displacement. And I’m good at it, especially displacement.

After I sulk and do what most normal people do when they’re sad, I could walk up and keep things where it should be. I’ve had two years of theatre experience and I reckon it’s enough for me to learn that “the show must go on!” And yeah, I guess life has always been a show, at least mine is. And day by day, we dawn on our masks and play our role in this gameshow called life. We make decisions and sometimes when we’re really not sure, we just hope we get it right and win.

Can I just say thank you to those who genuinely show care and concern.. You know who you are.. A lot of our friends can attest to that.. I just wish other people could do that too..

Quote of the Day:
None of us are who we appear on the outside, but we must maintain appearances to survive. -- Dexter

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